Born in the Eighties

Apparently all robots are bigots. Adam wants a prehensile tail, while Jon could go for a genetically engineered tentacle in the center of his chest.  Adam decides that in the awesome future, he will have a clone body, and Jon will become a kick ass robot.  Turns out that Robo-jesus is kind of a dick, and Adam will stop at nothing to crush Jon's Un-crushable robot frame.  Gamma Rays flood the podcasting room and Jon and Adam are able to choose their own super-powers.  Turns out that Adam is more racist than a robot.  Drunk men are very bad at robbing banks, they should just pass out in their cars, and Adam an Jon discuss how to properly throw a small child over a pool of lava.  Adam and Jon take a walk around the wild world of accents, and Adam shows his insides to little kids.

Direct download: Born_in_the_Eighties_12.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 12:30am CST

Jon questions the plot of the "The Santa Clause" movie, and how Randy Savage would have made an awesome Santa Claus.  We also discuss how all of Arnold's bastard children begin their transformation at age 10, and how it is very similar to the movie "Teen Wolf".  Hulk Hogan's Heroes get the better of Colonel Klink once again!  It is a felony to photograph whale raping parties. Our two plucky hosts contemplate how the rapture will go down, and how it is fucked up to confess spanking it to some old dude in a robe.  Kirk Cameron makes a deal with the devil, and ponders getting the extended warranty.  Adam also considers how cool it would be to become a demon, though toiling away at Foxconn for a year sounds unpleasant to him.

Direct download: Born_in_the_Eighties_11.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:21pm CST

Pigs become CEOs, and Tag Team sings about them. Yes, Isreal and Palestine are not friends. Lance and Adam argue about pointless things. Godzilla smuggles drugs into Turkey. The Kessler's diamond guy is a huge douchebag.  Kessler's may or may not have the bloodiest of diamonds.  Rubber is apparently the best movie ever made, and Jon can barely wrap hismind around the subject.  Lance brings news from Canada, and the crew talks about their desert island shows. Lance and Adam talk way too much about Star Trek minuatae, and Jon about whips a shitty on the podcast.

Lance uncovers who really caused the challenger disaster.

Direct download: Born_in_the_Eighties_10_Pig_Power.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:44pm CST

Thor comes crashing into the room asking whether or not our drinking problem is truly helping the war effort against the frost giants.  A dude runs in while tripping balls on bath salts and not only steals Adam's innocence, but also runs off with our beloved pet goat named after a children's TV show character.  It isn't Lance's fault that the Mexicans working the kitchen at the pizza place ruined their computer by watching porn, but he still has to do his laundry in that rape dungeon of a basement of his apartment.  We can all agree that Star Wars would have been 100x more depressing with Christopher Walken playing Han Solo.

Direct download: Born_in_the_Eighties_009.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 12:46am CST

A teacher dresses up as Mark Twain but forgets to wear the pants, Jon's 5th grade music class induces a Vietnam flashback. Ninjas break into cars, and get chased away by guidos weilding guns.  A modern re-telling of "Top Gun" would be flawed fundamentally, though U.S. Military planes have kick ass names. In Rural America, everyone drinks and drives, while attempting to elude the cops.  We discuss the Mechanics of getting a blowjob whilst walking, and how  awesome sticking your torso out of a sunroof is. Ghost ride an ATV dirty, and become a living god, meet Jack Hardcase, NBC CEO and remember, Patricia is the worst female name. Email:

Direct download: Born_in_the_Eighties_008.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:03pm CST