Born in the Eighties
 

Things start out with a typical discussion of movies and comics. Lantz cracks open the sex crypt and things get pretty weird... and everybody walks away knowing a little bit more about this fragile thing we call the human condition.

Direct download: BITE_76.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:23pm CDT

Jon, Lantz, and Mercury are in the cut and for some reason begin the Christmas episode with talk about celebrity sex scenes.  Lantz shares 3 dreams, and Jon attempts to trump his stories with his own wacky dreams.  In the second half, Jon counts down his 10 (ish) least favorite christmas tunes.  Happy Holidays from the whole Born in the Eighties crew.

Direct download: BITE_75.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:41am CDT

Jon, Mercury, and Lantz are joined by Matt, chatting about everything from how to properly run away from a falling spaceship, suicides, extra faithful dog owners, two and three quarters of a man to the worlds sexiest superheroes.

Direct download: BITE_74.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:57pm CDT

Mercury, Lantz, and Jon brawl over the classic old Ben Affleck vs. Matt Damon debate and things get pretty heated.  The guys also chat about the upcoming fall movies, black friday fun, the founding of www.sexcrypt.com and in the last half hour... things take a dark turn.

Direct download: BITE_73.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:58pm CDT

Jon and Mercury share an intimate chat while Lantz is out on assignment.  Topics range from HVACs, to roller derby, and Mercury counts down her top 10 American television shows on the air today.  Jon plots to steal away Mercury's girlfriend, and she doesn't even seem to care. The T.V. debate is informative and extensive.  Enjoy.

Direct download: BITE_72.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:12pm CDT

Jon, Lantz, and Mercury chat about shows they would like to see off of the air.  Lantz brings a music countdown the likes of which you never could believe.  Mercury opens up the crypt yet again, and we barely get it to closed. Oh, and also... new logo.

Direct download: BITE_71.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:41pm CDT

The Crypts are flown wide open when Mercury and Lantz both delve into their own personal sex crypts.  All is told, too much is shared, and Lantz tries his luck at a biker bar.

Direct download: BITE_70.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:18pm CDT

We sit down with Key & Peele's own Keegan Michael Key, and quizbot interrupts with a serious set of questions.

Direct download: BITE_Keegan.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:09pm CDT

Recording from the brand spanking new Born in the Eighties studios!  The guys ponder Disney and looney tunes and whether or not Chuck Jones is a racist.  If you haven't seen the movie Tiptoes... watch the trailer.  Lantz brings a song that he recorded, and he totally doesn't do a Danzig impression.  Mercury makes everything go dark.... so dark...

Direct download: BITE_69.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:37pm CDT

The guys chat about bad movie experiences, favorite scary movies, the foxiest first ladies, and how awkward that 1988 beach boys rock n roll hall of fame induction was.  Not to mention Mercury decides to get real quiet...

Direct download: BITE_68.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:51pm CDT

Matt joins Lantz and Jon for a very SPECIAL episode of born in the eighties. The guys talk about horror movies, and Lantz's car troubles. Smut and eggs, sadly, were not consumed.   Jon, Lantz, and Matt talk about stories they wrote when they were 12 years old. Some podcast drama is brought up, the air is cleared, and all parties leave better than they came. Make sure to edit Wikipedia for us! Do it for the glory! CROATOAN!

Direct download: BITE_67.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 12:54am CDT

Jon has a cold. Mercury explains how that if you want to see good butts, to watch baseball. Lantz explains the best episode of Family Feud ever.  Jon theorizes that the black comedians from the 90s have formed a tontine for brewster's millions. The guys talk about their favorite era of women, and Jon is definitely not into 20s women. We head into Mercury's tales from the Sex Crypt, and nobody leaves unscathed. Mercury tells tales of Dominatrixes, Ropers, and being a drag queen.  The guys also talk 80s and 90s cartoons, and yup... you guessed it... The Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles is awesome.

Direct download: BITE_66.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 4:07pm CDT

Where do I begin?  Lantz has a spectacular experience watching the new resident evil movie. The guys talk action movies, and how Rocky would make a kick ass president. A fan favorite segment "Dear Abby" returns... and things get a tad blue... dark childhood secrets are revealed.  Tune in for probably the best and craziest episode yet!!!  Tell your friends!

Direct download: BITE_65.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:52pm CDT

Mercury returns from an apparently excitingly mundane class reunion.  Jon checks up on her criminal record.  Jon and Mercury discuss the comedy open mic they attended, and guess what?  Mercury has more car problems.   Lantz bestows upon our ears the light and the glory that is David Lee Roth's vocal stylings, sans guitar.  Everyone is real tired, and Jon happens upon the magic that is online soundboards.  Forgive him... please.

Direct download: BITE_64.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:29pm CDT

Jon talks about a co-worker with an odd dream. Mercury lays out her future plans as a stand up comedian and chats about bad movies.  Yeah... Battle Royale is .... just.... o.k.  Lantz explains how basically the autobots committed genocide in the third transformer movie.  And everyone plans what could be the greatest movie of all time.... not.

Direct download: BITE_63.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:52pm CDT

Lantz and Jon are betrayed yet again by a co-host absconding off to family homes. This will not stand! Lucky for Lantz and Jon this betrayal will be short lived. With some one on one time, Lantz and Jon jaw about what movies were a complete waste of time. Also the lovely Lauren Welch appears to plug the opera-style show she will be in the weekend of the 7th, 8th, and 9th of September.

Direct download: BITE_62.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:45pm CDT

Mercury and Jon talk about how to really get out of a speeding ticket, Lantz has his gears severely ground, and we all take a ride on Justin's Bus.  Also, Lantz likes to loiter around pawn shops for some reason.

Direct download: BITE_61.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 8:07pm CDT

Mercury makes a few verbal gaffes, and tells the story about how he stabbed himself in the hand and basically bled all over everything.  Oh, and did I mention?  This is Adam's final appearance.  Also, while the song is pronounced Rev ill lee, the song Jon was thinking about is known as Taps.

Direct download: BITE_60.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:23pm CDT

Jon, Adam and Lantz get together to talk about Lord of the Rings races, X-men movies, Jon rips off the Mario theme for Lantz's "Hollywood News" segment.  Lantz chats about his bed collection woes, awful night out, and everyone is shocked at Adam's betrayal.  Finally, a popular segment returns! The pen-adam-timate episode is on!

Direct download: BITE_59.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 9:44pm CDT

We start the show with a bang on discussion of Armageddon, and there are 40 oz beverages to be consumed. Eric and Jon realize that they are 8 oz short. Lantz continues to yell at people from his car, and everybody shares stories of their young drinking experiences.  Not to mention technical difficulties, black outs and drunken painting gone wrong.

Direct download: BITE_58.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 1:07am CDT

Jon and Adam try to explain seventies hanna barbara cartoons, and fail miserably.  Jon falls deep into the well that is the Air Bud saga... and does not return.  Quizbot returns and grills our special guest, Eric.  Also, Jon would totally take a child-ghost bride.

Direct download: BITE_57.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:35pm CDT

Continuing with the debauchery... Lantz decides the group should enter into a new Death Pool...  Does this make us all terrible human beings, yes... but you should listen anyway.  All that and a new edition of This Week in Werewolf News.  Listen in!

P.S. Screw Werewolf News . com

Direct download: BITE_56.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 9:16pm CDT

WARNING: Explicit! Jon defends Brett Favre's dick picks.  The guys discuss everything sexual and taboo.  Mercury brings it to this extremely explicit episode of Born in the Eighties.  Also, Jon cheats at measuring, and Mercury barely finishes a story.

Direct download: BITE_55.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:35pm CDT

Jon starts with a suggestion for the listeners, Lantz wonders how tetanus works, and Adam regales us with tales of lawyerly mails. Also Jon basically gives Louis CK a BJ. Shut up Jon.  Oh wait.. you have some amazing dreams about airplane crashes and pornstar parties?  Do tell...

Direct download: BITE_54.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:43pm CDT

Warning: Prometheus spoilers.  Lantz actually listened to the podcast....  and ADAM HAS A STORY!!!  And he is terrible at telling it.  Also, Lantz broke into a bank.. no big deal.  Jon details his greatest high school shame.

Direct download: BITE_53.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 5:40pm CDT

Who could it be?  What is happening?  Who was that mysterious man? Why is Adam wrapped in chains?  Who cares?

Direct download: BITE_52.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:58pm CDT

Lantz returns and the gang talk about Terminator, terrible Jedi, awful delivery driving stories, and how we are all lovin' life.

Direct download: BITE_51.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:21pm CDT

Hey folks, it has been 50 awesome episodes! Hooray! Blame Mercury and Matt for this, but they had a crazy idea for us to do a power hour live! Listeners can drink along (at your own caution) or just listen to us slowly fall apart over the hour. We don't condone deadly drinking to excess and don't follow our example. Good luck and have fun. Here is to 50 more!

Direct download: BITE_50.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:00pm CDT

This is the Adam show.  This show is completely about Adam.  All of your Adam info is in here.  Or not.  Listen to find out.  (The secret of the audition is revealed).

Direct download: BITE_49.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 12:35am CDT

After some failed news story action. Lantz, Adam, and Jon dole out life and relationship advice better than ol' abby could ever do.  To wrap things up, we preview the Adam Show, and Lantz discusses the finer points of elevator etiquette.

Direct download: BITE_48.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 9:06pm CDT

Jon regales the gang with stories of toilet mishaps and bad auditions, Jon and Adam talk about their days trotting the boards, and Lantz hates his neighbor. Tune in.

Direct download: BITE_47.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:32pm CDT

Them city boys drink that high-falutin' soda, here in the country we drink pop!  Lantz's ex co-worker is constantly running into bicyclists.  Also, the epidemic of bears is ruining this country, and we as a nation need to murder tons of animals and big game in Africa to keep us safe, and show everyone we have enormous wangs.  Maybe we just need to spend 30 days with bears to get to know them better.  Set that up Morgan Spurlock.

Direct download: BITE_46.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 12:13am CDT

Jesus strolled into Jerusalem and he was like... "What's up my babies?".  The gang tries to talk about their dreams, but that falls apart as Jon spins tales of the origins of McDonald's character "The Grimace".  Bibles have pages that are too thin, and girls with Tongue studs like to go downtown, and I am not talking about the civic center.  Lantz and Jon both decide that if they were super attractive, they would become evil and take over the world. And may Uncle O'Grimacy keep your mugs full of Shamrock shakes.

Direct download: BITE45.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:04pm CDT

Enter season 2.  Topics range from Butt-chugging to pill parties and much more.  Matt brings the new theme music sauce, and the gang finds out how real Americans reacted to M.I.A flipping the U.S.A the bird at the super bowl.  God damn those Egyptian head-dresses.  Adam has the worst references and enjoys inviting homeless men to follow him home.

Direct download: BITE_44.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:40pm CDT

The show Heroes had a lot of problems.  Ilsa the She-Wolf of the SS is actually pretty lame.  Adam's reference-ometer is way off, and Adam's ability to prepare for podcasts is questioned.  The guys chat about the new Brian K. Vaughn comic "Saga".  Lantz tells the tale of his ill fated pet hamster.  Rather than pawning off this little urine-flinging chain mangling monster, Lantz let nature take its course.  The guys discuss how to make Nascar more exciting, and a couple tips on making international flags much cooler.  Finally Jon and Lantz form the brand new wrestling team "The Bruise Brothers"

 

Direct download: BITE_43.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 8:58pm CDT

The one where they knock the dust out of the attic, and explain some schemes on how to get rich.  Ideas range from War Profiteering, to Land Pirating to writing the next young adult book trilogy.  I can see them dollar signs now. Lantz really has a hard time grinding his gears this week, listen after the end theme.

Direct download: BITE_42.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:20pm CDT

Lantz, Adam and Jon ponder tiny houses for dwarfs, Star Wars inconsistencies, and how god damn terrible Darth Vader was at running the war.  Han shot first, and Darth Vader is who is coming to dinner.  Lantz takes the "Psychopath Test", and the gang ponders how those mad scientist Russians are going to have our brains in robots by 2025.

Direct download: BITE_41.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:14pm CDT

Lantz and Jon reminisce about their McDonald's work experiences.  Lantz makes sure that those hand towels are safe and secure.  Jon needs to memorize his sandwiches.  Lantz entails his crazy run in with the world's lamest biker party where someone has their whammy bar tugged.  The gang discusses terrible job experiences, and Jon gives the greatest tip for job interviews... lie.  If allowed time travel, Jon would go back to the 60s, and live Don Draper's life, Adam wouldn't go back in time.  The past is so mainstream.. Adam is a hipster.  Lantz would go back to a time where he could use food and small trinkets for sexual favors.  The guys talk about freaky dreams and sexy co-workers.  Adam is constantly shot in his dreams.  Send us your dreams at bitecast@gmail.com or leave us a comment below.

Direct download: BITE_40.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 8:58pm CDT

Lauren Welch joins us to battle quizbot, and promote her improv show on Monday the 27th.  Then, Lantz, Adam, and Jon brainstorm what would happen if aliens existed, and how Adam would react to being abducted by aliens.  (Spoiler: Adam is really quiet and doesn't believe any of it)  Also, listen to how Jon's accent slowly takes a trip around the world.

Direct download: BITE_39.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:39pm CDT

Lantz is the Latka of the podcast.  The 3 nerds discuss where on a spaceship they would like to be positioned, run ins with chatty convenience store clerks.  Lantz brings up comics, and the terrible death of superman saga of the nineties.  More comics.  Lots of comics. (Especially how lame Moon Knight is) Also, people need to get Mr. Dan Conner, John Goodman, more work in hollywood.  Lantz approves of the new Van Halen album.  And the gang previews the movies of the spring and summer of 2012.

 

Direct download: BITE_38.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:50pm CDT

We sit down and chat with Jon's very animated ol' buddy and his puppety pal, Snickers.  We discuss why Jon is always bringin' Adam down, Adam's Native American Heritage, and Mercury's 16 year old girl drinking habits.  Mercury brings the crazy, controversial, and insane energy.  Quite a listen.

Direct download: BITE_37.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 6:36pm CDT

You strain to hear the noise coming over the countertop.  Had Joe Dibella's mob goons struck again?  You can hear the struggle out in the hallway.  Was that poor Adam, the peg-leg janitor, being ruthlessly beaten and left for dead?  The muffled shouting and beating noises subside, and you ready yourself for the coming gunfight.  Jon, nestled behind his chemistry apparatus, lay huddled in fear.  You, Lantz, private investigator, are the only thing between the mob and the maltese.. something...

Direct download: BITE_36.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 6:19pm CDT

Jon, Adam and Lantz talk X-men, and how zany that cartoon was. We watched it before podcasting, and jesus h christ that show moves at a mile a minute. Lantz and Jon mention football and completely silence Adam Hamm. Jon makes the most ridiculous references ever, admits his love of blonde haired douche bags, and tries to figure out what sexy lady superhero he would be.

Direct download: BITE_35.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:03pm CDT

Lantz joins Adam and Jon again for another rousing episode of your favorite mostly-weekly podcast! Topics range from fainting goats, the Rat Pack, Jon's upcoming trip to vegas, recasting the film classic "The Room", and many other inane things.

Direct download: BITE_34.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 6:29pm CDT

Direct download: BITE_33.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:45pm CDT