Born in the Eighties

Things start out with a typical discussion of movies and comics.  Lance cracks open the sex crypt and things get pretty weird... and everybody walks away knowing a little bit more about this fragile thing we call the human condition.

Direct download: BITE_76.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:23pm CST

Jon, Lance, and Tyler are in the cut and for some reason begin the christmas episode with talk about celebrity sex scenes.  Lance shares 3 dreams, and Jon attempts to trump his stories with his own wacky dreams.  In the second half, Jon counts down his 10 (ish) least favorite christmas tunes.  Happy Holidays from the whole Born in the Eighties crew.

Direct download: BITE_75.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:41am CST

Jon, Tyler, and Lance are joined by Matt Haag, chatting about everything from how to properly run away from a falling spaceship, suicides, extra faithful dog owners, two and three quarters of a man to the worlds sexiest superheros.

Direct download: BITE_74.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:57pm CST

Tyler, Lance, and Jon brawl over the classic old Ben Affleck vs. Matt Damon debate and things get pretty heated.  The guys also chat about the upcoming fall movies, black friday fun, the founding of and in the last half hour... things take a dark turn.

Direct download: BITE_73.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:58pm CST

Jon and Tyler share an intimate chat while Lance is out on assignment.  Topics range from HVACs, to roller derby, and Tyler counts down his top 10 american television shows on the air today.  Jon plots to steal away Tyler's girlfriend, and Tyler doesn't even seem to care. The T.V. debate is informative and extensive.  Enjoy.

Direct download: BITE_72.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:12pm CST

Jon, Lance, and Tyler chat about shows they would like to see off of the air.  Lance brings a music countdown the likes of which you never could believe.  Tyler opens up the crypt yet again, and we barely get it to closed. Oh, and also... new logo.

Direct download: BITE_71.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:41pm CST

The Crypts are flown wide open when Tyler and Lance both delve into their own personal sex crypts.  All is told, too much is shared, and Lance tries his luck at a biker bar.

Direct download: BITE_70.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:18pm CST

We sit down with Key & Peele's own Keegan Michael Key, and quizbot interrupts with a serious set of questions.

Direct download: BITE_Keegan.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:09pm CST

Recording from the brand spanking new Born in the Eighties studios!  The guys ponder disney and looney tunes and whether or not Chuck Jones is a racist.  If you haven't seen the movie Tiptoes... watch the trailer.  Lance brings a song that he recorded, and he totally doesn't do a Danzig impression.  Tyler makes everything go dark.... so dark...

Direct download: BITE_69.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:37pm CST

The guys chat about bad movie experiences, favorite scary movies, the foxiest first ladies, and how awkward that 1988 beach boys rock n roll hall of fame induction was.  Not to mention Tyler decides to get real quiet...

Direct download: BITE_68.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:51pm CST

Matt Haag joins Lance and Jon for a very SPECIAL episode of born in the eighties. The guys talk about horror movies, and Lance's car troubles. Smut and eggs, sadly, were not consumed.   Jon, Lance, and Matt talk about stories they wrote when they were 12 years old. Some podcast drama is brought up, the air is cleared, and all parties leave better than they came. Make sure to edit Wikipedia for us! Do it for the glory! CROATOAN!

Direct download: BITE_67.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 12:54am CST

Jon has a cold. Tyler explains how that if you want to see good butts, to watch baseball. Lance explains the best episode of Family Feud ever. Jon theorizes that the black comedians from the 90s have formed a tontine for brewster's millions. The guys talk about their favorite era of women, and Jon is definitely not into 20s women. We head into Tyler's tales from the Sex Crypt, and nobody leaves unscathed. Tyler tells tales of Dominatrixes, Ropers, and being a drag queen.  The guys also talk 80s and 90s cartoons, and yup... you guessed it... The Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles is awesome.

Direct download: BITE_66.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 4:07pm CST

Where do I begin?  Lance has a spectacular experience watching the new resident evil movie. The guys talk action movies, and how Rocky would make a kick ass president. A fan favorite segment "Dear Abby" returns... and things get a tad blue... dark childhood secrets are revealed.  Tune in for probably the best and craziest episode yet!!!  Tell your friends!

Direct download: BITE_65.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:52pm CST

Tyler retuns from an apparently excitingly mundane class reunion.  Jon checks up on Tyler's criminal record.  Jon and Tyler discuss the comedy open mic they attended, and guess what?  Tyler has more car problems.   Lance bestows upon our ears the light and the glory that is David Lee Roth's vocal stylings, sans guitar.  Everyone is real tired, and Jon happens upon the magic that is online soundboards.  Forgive him... please.

Direct download: BITE_64.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:29pm CST

Jon talks about a co-worker with an odd dream. Tyler lays out his future plans as a stand up comedian and chats about bad movies.  Yeah... Battle Royale is .... just.... o.k.  Lance explains how basically the autobots committed genocide in the third transformer movie.  And everyone plans what could be the greatest movie of all time.... not.

Direct download: BITE_63.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:52pm CST

Lance and Jon are betrayed yet again by a co-host absconding off to family homes. This will not stand! Lucky for Lance and Jon this betrayal will be short lived. With some one on one time, Lance and Jon jaw about what movies were a complete waste of time. Also the lovely Lauren Welch appears to plug the opera-style show she will be in the weekend of the 7th, 8th, and 9th of September.

Direct download: BITE_62.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:45pm CST

Tyler and Jon talk about how to really get out of a speeding ticket, Lance has his gears severly ground, and we all take a ride on Justin's Bus.  Also, Lance likes to loiter around pawn shops for some reason.

Direct download: BITE_61.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 8:07pm CST

Tyler makes a few verbal gaffes, and tells the story about how he stabbed himself in the hand and basically bled all over everything.  Oh, and did I mention?  This is Adam's final appearance.  Also, while the song is pronounced Rev ill lee, the song Jon was thinking about is known as Taps.

Direct download: BITE_60.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:23pm CST

Jon, Adam and Lance get together to talk about Lord of the Rings races, X-men movies, Jon rips off the Mario theme for Lance's "Hollywood News" segment.  Lance chats about his bed collection woes, awful night out, and everyone is shocked at Adam's betrayal.  Finally, a popular segment returns! The pen-adam-timate episode is on!

Direct download: BITE_59.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 9:44pm CST

We start the show with a bang on discussion of Armageddon, and there are 40 oz beverages to be consumed. Eric and Jon realize that they are 8 oz short. Lance continues to yell at people from his car, and everybody shares stories of their young drinking experiences.  Not to mention technical difficulties, black outs and drunken painting gone wrong.

Direct download: BITE_58.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 1:07am CST

Jon and Adam try to explain seventies hanna barbara cartoons, and fail miserably.  Jon falls deep into the well that is the Air Bud saga... and does not return.  Quizbot returns and grills our special guest, Eric.  Also, Jon would totally take a child-ghost bride.

Direct download: BITE_57.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:35pm CST

Continuing with the debauchery... Lance decides the group should enter into a new Death Pool...  Does this make us all terrible human beings, yes... but you should listen anyway.  All that and a new edition of This Week in Werewolf News.  Listen in!

P.S. Screw Werewolf News . com

Direct download: BITE_56.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 9:16pm CST

WARNING: Explicit! Jon defends Brett Favre's dick picks.  The guys discuss everything sexual and taboo.  Tyler brings it to this extremely explicit episode of Born in the Eighties.  Also, Jon cheats at measuring, and Tyler barely finishes a story.

Direct download: BITE_55.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:35pm CST

Jon starts with a suggestion for the listeners, Lance wonders how tetanus works, and Adam regales us with tales of lawyerly mails. Also Jon basically gives Louis CK a BJ. Shut up Jon.  Oh wait.. you have some amazing dreams about airplane crashes and pornstar parties?  Do tell...

Direct download: BITE_54.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:43pm CST

Warning: Proetheus spoilers.  Lance actually listened to the podcast....  and ADAM HAS A STORY!!!  And he is terrible at telling it.  Also, Lance broke into a bank.. no big deal.  Jon details his greatest high school shame.

Direct download: BITE_53.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 5:40pm CST

Who could it be?  What is happening?  Who was that mysterious man? Why is Adam wrapped in chains?  Who cares?

Direct download: BITE_52.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:58pm CST

Lance returns and the gang talk about Terminator, terrible Jedi, awful delivery driving stories, and how we are all lovin' life.

Direct download: BITE_51.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:21pm CST

Hey folks, it has been 50 awesome episodes! Hooray! Blame Tyler and Matt for this, but they had a crazy idea for us to do a power hour live! Listeners can drink along (at your own caution) or just listen to us slowly fall apart over the hour. We don't condone deadly drinking to excess and don't follow our example. Good luck and have fun. Here is to 50 more!

Direct download: BITE_50.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:00pm CST

This is the Adam show.  This show is completely about Adam.  All of your Adam info is in here.  Or not.  Listen to find out.  (The secret of the audition is revealed).

Direct download: BITE_49.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 12:35am CST

After some failed news story action. Lance, Adam, and Jon dole out life and relationship advice better than ol' abby could ever do.  To wrap things up, we preview the Adam Show, and Lance discusses the finer points of elevator etiquette.

Direct download: BITE_48.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 9:06pm CST

Jon regales the gang with stories of toilet mishaps and bad auditions, Jon and Adam talk about their days trotting the boards, and Lance hates his neighbor. Tune in.

Direct download: BITE_47.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:32pm CST

Them city boys drink that high-falutin' soda, here in the country we drink pop!  Lance's ex co-worker is constantly running into bicyclists.  Also, the epidemic of bears is ruining this country, and we as a nation need to murder tons of animals and big game in africa to keep us safe, and show everyone we have enormous wangs.  Maybe we just need to spend 30 days with bears to get to know them better.  Set that up Morgan Spurlock.

Direct download: BITE_46.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 12:13am CST

Jesus strolled into Jerusalem and he was like... "What's up my babies?".  The gang tries to talk about their dreams, but that falls apart as Jon spins tales of the origins of McDonald's character "The Grimace".  Bibles have pages that are too thin, and girls with Tongue studs like to go downtown, and I am not talking about the civic center.  Lance and Jon both decide that if they were super attractive, they would become evil and take over the world. And may Uncle O'Grimacy keep your mugs full of Shamrock shakes.

Direct download: BITE45.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:04pm CST

Enter season 2.  Topics range from Butt-chugging to pill parties and much more.  Matt brings the new theme music sauce, and the gang finds out how real Americans reacted to M.I.A flipping the U.S.A the bird at the super bowl.  God damn those Egyptian head-dresses.  Adam has the worst references and enjoys inviting homeless men to follow him home.

Direct download: BITE_44.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:40pm CST

The show Heroes had a lot of problems.  Ilsa the She-Wolf of the SS is actually pretty lame.  Adam's reference-ometer is way off, and Adam's ability to prepare for podcasts is questioned.  The guys chat about the new Brian K. Vaughn comic "Saga".  Lance tells the tale of his ill fated pet hamster.  Rather than pawning off this little urine-flinging chain mangling monster, Lance let nature take its course.  The guys discuss how to make Nascar more exciting, and a couple tips on making international flags much cooler.  Finally Jon and Lance form the brand new wrestling team "The Bruise Brothers"

Direct download: BITE_43.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 8:58pm CST

The one where they knock the dust out of the attic, and explain some schemes on how to get rich.  Ideas range from War Profiteering, to Land Pirating to writing the next young adult book trilogy.  I can see them dollar signs now. Lance really has a hard time grinding his gears this week, listen after the end theme.

Direct download: BITE_42.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:20pm CST

Lance, Adam and Jon ponder tiny houses for dwarfs, Star Wars inconsistencies, and how god damn terrible Darth Vader was at running the war.  Han shot first, and Darth Vader is who is coming to dinner.  Lance takes the "Psychopath Test", and the gang ponders how those mad scientist russians are going to have our brains in robots by 2025.

Direct download: BITE_41.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:14pm CST

Lance and Jon reminisce about their McDonald's work experiences.  Lance makes sure that those hand towels are safe and secure.  Jon needs to memorize his sandwiches.  Lance entails his crazy run in with the world's lamest biker party where someone has their whammy bar tugged.  The gang discusses terrible job experiences, and Jon gives the greatest tip for job interviews... lie.  If allowed time travel, Jon would go back to the 60s, and live Don Draper's life, Adam wouldn't go back in time.  The past is so mainstream.. Adam is a hipster.  Lance would go back to a time where he could use food and small trinkets for sexual favors.  The guys talk about freaky dreams and sexy co-workers.  Adam is constantly shot in his dreams.  Send us your dreams at or leave us a comment below.

Direct download: BITE_40.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 8:58pm CST

Lauren Welch joins us to battle quizbot, and promote her improv show on Monday the 27th.  Then, Lance, Adam, and Jon brainstorm what would happen if aliens existed, and how adam would react to being abducted by aliens.  (Spoiler: Adam is really quiet and doesn't believe any of it)  Also, listen to how Jon's accent slowly takes a trip around the world.

Direct download: BITE_39.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 10:39pm CST

Lance is the Latka of the podcast.  The 3 nerds discuss where on a spaceship they would like to be positioned, run ins with chatty convenience store clerks.  Lance brings up comics, and the terrible death of superman saga of the nineties.  More comics.  Lots of comics. (Especially how lame Moon Knight is) Also, people need to get Mr. Dan Conner, John Goodman, more work in hollywood.  Lance approves of the new Van Halen album.  And the gang previews the movies of the spring and summer of 2012.

Direct download: BITE_38.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 7:50pm CST

We sit down and chat with Jon's very animated ol' buddy and his puppety pal, Snickers.  We discuss why Jon is always bringin' Adam down, Adam's Native American Heritage, and Tyler's 16 year old girl drinking habits.  Tyler brings the crazy, controversial, and insane energy.  Quite a listen.

Direct download: BITE_37.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 6:36pm CST

You strain to hear the noise coming over the countertop.  Had Joe Dibella's mob goons struck again?  You can hear the struggle out in the hallway.  Was that poor adam, the peg-leg janitor, being ruthlessly beaten and left for dead?  The muffled shouting and beating noises subside, and you ready yourself for the coming gunfight.  Jon, nestled behind his chemistry apparatus, lay huddled in fear.  You, Lance Kilcoyne, private investigator, are the only thing between the mob and the maltese.. something...

Direct download: BITE_36.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 6:19pm CST

Jon, Adam and Lance talk X-men, and how zany that cartoon was. We watched it before podcasting, and jesus h christ that show moves at a mile a minute. Lance and Jon mention football and completely silence Adam hamm. Jon makes the most ridiculous references ever, admits his love of blonde haired douche bags, and tries to figure out what sexy lady superhero he would be.

Direct download: BITE_35.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 11:03pm CST

Lance joins Adam and Jon again for another rousing episode of your favorite mostly-weekly podcast! Topics range from fainting goats, the Rat Pack, Jon's upcoming trip to vegas, recasting the film classic "The Room", and many other inane things.

Direct download: BITE_34.mp3
Category:Humor -- posted at: 6:29pm CST

Direct download: BITE_33.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:45pm CST